Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Last year in my 20's! 1-11-11

Happy birthday to me!

I can hardly believe I'm 29 today.

I'm not one who really cares about age (well, we'll see about that next year when I'm 30!) so it's not a huge deal, but definitely feels weird to be 29!

I am also not one of those people who set goals to be such and such by the time I'm 29, etc...but there are definitely things I would love to accomplish in the next year! Hopefully I'll be able to share some of those things with you along the way!

And how adorable are these gift boxes my presents came in?!?!
(Gift certificates from my hubby and kids for a pedicure and facial, my favorites!)

My brother-in-law shares a birthday with me, so we usually get several parties throughout the week!

He's 17 today, by the way! Happy birthday D!

So...a little off topic.

WARNING: Movie spoilers and a long, sappy, dramatic post ahead!

Tangled. Have you seen it?

We took the kids last weekend and I must say, it did not disappoint!

But I must also admit that I broke down crying during the movie.

Several times.

And those thoughts brought me to today.

First, let me start by saying, that I don't get sad every time I think about my birthmother...or Zoey's.

In fact, most of the time, when I think about them, it's related to something happy.

And even if I become sad, depending on the situation, I am still very confident that the decision would be the same every time because Zoey and I are right where we're meant to be.

In the movie, the princess (Rapunzel) is kidnapped by the wicked old witch.

So, every year, on Rapunzel's birthday, the king and queen release thousands and thousands of paper lanterns into the sky to honor and remember her.

They are, of course, reunited after 18 years (it is a Disney movie after all!) so finally, the king and queen are at peace once getting her back.

Rapunzel sees the paper lanterns each and every year on her birthday, and wonders if they are somehow related to her birth, so she escapes from the tower to get a closer look.

As she sits in the boat outside the castle and watchs as the thousands and thousands of lanterns float into the sky, tears started streaming down my face. (though I tried really hard not to!)

No matter what the circumstance, no matter your place in life, do you ever really forget losing a child?

I have a hard time believing that you do.

In this case, I am referring to 'losing a child' as 'giving up a child for adoption'.

I can't imagine that you could carry someone in your womb, who has your DNA, who gave you morning sickness and heartburn and kicked you while you were trying to sleep, and then forget them.

Sure, I think you could move on with your life.

Sure, I think everyone would handle it differently, especially given all the possible scenarios.

Sure, I think the pain of it would lessen over time.

But, I just don't believe that you ever forget.

When I watched the reunion between Rapunzel and her parents, it of course, turned me into another blubbering mess!

My thoughts turned to all those birthparents and adopted children out there wondering if they will ever have that chance in this lifetime. (for those that want that opportunity, of course)

And as young as I still feel at 29, with a life very fulfilled, for at least one person, hopefully still on this earth, 29 years must feel like a lifetime without their child.

And that is something very hard for me not to think about on my birthday today.

In my imagination (and because, frankly, I couldn't pull it off in real life!)
I released thousands and thousands of paper lanterns into the night sky.

Hoping that that person across the world might see them and know that I am honoring and remembering them today.

My birthday wish this year is for that person to know that I am thinking of her today,

and I will never, ever forget.


  1. oh kim...this post has given me goosebumps. you are always able to express your feelings so well. i think i would have teared up during that movie too. happy birthday my friend! i hope this year brings you all you hope and wish for! xoxo

  2. happy birthday kim! this was such a beautiful post reminding us of the birth parents we can so easily forget about.

  3. That just brought me to tears. Happy Birthday. I am pretty sure that someone across the world was releasing their own paperlanterns for you to see.

  4. Wow what a gorgeous post! I love this.

  5. OK, now you're making us readers turn into blubbering messes! So well put (I love the mental paper lanterns)-thank you birthmothers. We honor you!